Covenant and Chaos: Fin's Spiritual Musings

I’m not here to convert anyone. Jews don’t proselytize. That’s not our way. We argue with G-d, wrestle with mystery, and light candles in the dark. I’m not trying to prove I’m right, or to gather followers, or to sound enlightened. I’m just a gay trans Jew who’s walked through fire, who’s found holiness in the ashes, and who believes that sacred things are worth speaking aloud—even if the world doesn’t always understand.

I share my spirituality because it’s been part of my healing. I converted to Judaism after years of searching, dreaming, and nearly dying—after years of wrestling with G-d through trauma, addiction, queerness, neurodivergence, and the feeling of being a soul with no homeland. My Hebrew name is Zev, “wolf,” and like the wolf, I’ve often felt caught between worlds—Jew and witch, mystic and mess, sacred and scarred.

I practice what I call Jewitchery—a devotional, creative, queer spirituality that honors both my Jewish identity and my past connection to Pagan traditions. My art often features deities from mythologies I no longer worship but still respect. My husband is a Pagan, and our love is its own interfaith ritual. We don’t always use the same names for the Divine, but we meet in shared awe, shared fire, shared laughter. And G-d is big enough to hold all of it.

I’m not sharing to be performative. I’m sharing because this is how I process grief and longing and revelation. Because this is how I talk to the Divine—through poetry, through ritual, through pixels and prayers. I don’t offer answers. I offer stories. Fragments. Lantern light. A soft howl in the distance that says, you’re not alone.
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If something here resonates with your path—whether you're Jewish, Pagan, something in between, or something else entirely—I’m honored. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. The Shechinah meets us where we are, even if we’re screaming “What the fuck, Hashem?!” while lighting Shabbat candles in a glittery cave.
All religions are branches of one big tree. It doesn't matter what you call Him just as long as you call. The Lord is in everything that’s in creation. So, when you look at a tree, it’s really a reflection of G-d. You see it in other people – that’s Him too, you know? ― George Harrison
 Essays


Personal
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Nerdery


Holidays
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Rituals and Magick


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Stories [Midrash Aggadah]