Sober

You ain't felt grief till you felt it sober,
The weight of this sorrow on your shoulders gets bolder.
I used to drown it out, now it’s drowning me,
All-consuming fire, lava-flowing sea.

I walk through the wreckage, flames licking my skin,
A storm in my chest, where the ghosts have always been.
I carry my younger self through the smoke and fire,
With hands that tremble, and legs so fucking tired.
The ashes, they're calling, they darken my mind:
You'll never escape what you leave behind.

You ain't felt grief till you felt it sober,
A shadow that whispers, You’re not getting over.
The bottles are broken, but the hurt’s still inside,
As I face the truth I’d been running to hide.

I carry my younger self, hands clutching mine,
Through the burning wreckage, through years lost to time.
Those scared eyes are wide, searching for the light,
But I can't offer refuge, here in the dead of night.
The flames don't burn less just because I've stayed clean,
They blaze with a hunger, cruel and unseen.

You ain't felt grief till you felt it sober,
The past turns to chains, tighter and slower.
I thought I could outrun it, thought I could escape,
But the demons of trauma, they’re here, they won’t wait.

So I carry that child, through fire and smoke,
Through dreams that turn violent and promises broke.
And we're learning together, we rise from the ash,
That the healing is slow, but we’ll make it last.
Though the flames still linger and the wreckage remains,
We’re walking through it, and we're breaking those chains.

You ain't felt grief till you felt it sober,
But through the fire, I’ll keep marching forward.